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Make Room for Poetry

A Messy Aftermath 

This is thing…I saw this coming

A mile away.

And yet, I chose to stay

It was all for wrong reasons

Masked as good intentions

Because I couldn’t make

The decision to break

Things off.

Maybe it was for my mom’s sake

And the dog’s too

And my friends’ dreams

Of what might have seemed

Like #goals. 

Now that it’s over, 

How hard to sweep under

All the hearts that we broke.

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Unfinished 

You are my unfinished story.
When I tried to get back to you, 

I found out that I had lost the thread 

Of my thoughts.

I had forgotten why I was pursuing this piece.

Now you are just a string of words

that for a time sounded interesting to me.

Ever Friends? 

Have I ever crossed your mind

Even for one full exhale? 

Have you ever thought

In the minutest way

That you could see me as more than

Our years of friendship? 

That you have a curiosity for me

Beyond the familiar? 

Because if you’re ever wondered, 

Let me make it clear that

You’ve been my mind’s sole occupant

For the longest time.

Sense of Entitlement

Why do you feel entitled to my love?

You, who never made an effort beyond what was convenient? 

And now that I understand my worth, 

I’m supposed to jump hoops for the scraps you throw at me? 

Keep your love. And I’ll keep mine.

Multiverse

If I’m being scientific about it, 

I don’t think I have a reason to be sad. 

Because in some other world,

We were not just a possibility. 

Piece by Piece

Curse by curse

I was striped and worn

‘Til I was thin enough

To be torn.

Punch by punch

I deserve each blow.

How was I know

Of my worth?

Breath by breath

Scrambling at thin straws

Satisfied with scraps

Of his love.

This is how

You found me down

Drowning in the well

Of my fears.

but…

Piece by piece

You restored in me

All the strength I though

I had lost.

Touch by touch

You have made me feel

That your love could heal

All my scars

Kiss by kiss

I began to see

The face in the mirror

Smile at me.

Piece by piece

I am whole once more

Ready to explore

Who I am.

Anjc815@2017

First Date, Last Date

Heart in my hand, My stomach clogs my throat.

Head’s not resting between my shoulders.

It has gone far away, shaking its gray matter

As it stares

At the sorry state that I am in.

And all because I stayed in front

Of the door you closed on my face.

Now, instead of your soft lips,

My cheek rests on wood.

Grain mixes with wet salt.

I will my feet to walk away

But it is jelly on your paved doorstep.

What a night.

AnjCP 2017

False Memories

On our first date, you leaned over to kiss me. I tiptoed and tilted my head up to kiss you.

On our first anniversary, you sent me a bouquet of tulips. I reserved a fancy restaurant and paid for the bill.

On Valentine’s day, you got on your knees and proposed. I asked you where our relationship was going.

Why is it that I remembered us differently?

And now that I am able to separate what’s real from my created reality,

I realize there’s nothing to save because the best part of us was me.

AnjCP 2017

In Between

Did I need to be happier?

I certainly didn’t think so.

I honestly thought I couldn’t want

for anything more.

I went to where my feet took me;

Ate what my stomach told me;

Sang when my spirit moved me.

And then you came along

Like a stone on a paved path

Tripping my footing.

Now, I walk the line

between bliss and anguish

Never sure of where to stand.

AnjCP 2017

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