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In Between

Did I need to be happier?

I certainly didn’t think so.

I honestly thought I couldn’t want

for anything more.

I went to where my feet took me;

Ate what my stomach told me;

Sang when my spirit moved me.

And then you came along

Like a stone on a paved path

Tripping my footing.

Now, I walk the line

between bliss and anguish

Never sure of where to stand.

AnjCP 2017

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Love is a Many-Flavored Thing

When I began this compilation of love poems, I thought to myself, love really is a many-flavored thing. And being Filipino, where food rivals religion in importance, I think that many can relate. When you are in-love for the very first time, love hits you as sweet, sometimes puke-inducingly sweet, the kind even sweet-toothed people shy away from. At times, it can be salty too, especially after a recent fight, where your mouth swallows not only buckets of tears, but also oodles of snot from dramatic bouts of crying only soap opera stars can rival. And then there’s sour–the green, bile-like taste left in your mouth after catching your beloved twisting his neck over the cutie in the next table. And when love is finally lost, it leaves an undeniably, no-matter-how-many-times-you-brush, bitter taste in your mouth.But hey, that’s love for you…throw in everything you’ve got and you get the most wonderful,interesting, vile, exotic, pungent,unforgettable flavors. And what is life without its flavors?

 

Lost (inspired by Dali)

How has time melted between the spaces of my hands?
The same ones that used to hold on to yours?

Have I taken too much of time’s time? 

Have I given you too much space?

I thought if I were still, you’d come running back…

But time doesn’t turn back

And neither did you..

Now both of you are lost to me.

Finally Sure

I used to be happy

With anything that

Might resemble affection

Like arid grass

Thirsting for even

The slightest hint of rain
I was starved

Begging for a morsel

A kernel of care

A bite of affirmation

I’d run to anyone

Who’d turn his head for me.
It was shameful

I admit that oftentimes,

I felt foolish, having to dissect

A simple text 

Interpreting it 

A million and one ways
But when you came along

Your love drenched me

So that I’d never have to

Be thirsty again

Never have to second-guess

Or interpret your intentions
You’ve made it very clear

That I am on your mind

In your heart

And yes, 

I am so blessed 

To be sure of this. 

Again and Again

I am in this time loop

Constantly re-living the worst and best day of my life.

With you, walking in your crisp white clothes

Barefoot as the soft grass tickles your toes

And the sun showering your glowing face

 with kisses

And for a split second, you turn around

Searching the crowd for my face

And you find me–

My eyes, lingering, longing, brimming with unshed tears

And you smile in a weird, beautiful kind of way.

I blow kisses and gesture for you to move on. 

You take a deep breath, take a last step forward and take her hand in yours. 

This scene replays over and over and over in my head…

But there is no doubt that I would always choose your happy ending over mine. 

Third Wheel

I’m excusing myself from this table

Because it feels like I’m intruding

Into a private conversation.

While I made the introduction, 

I have come to the realization

That this was a dinner meant 

For a party of two. 
It’s useless to interject

Because I can not be funnier

Or wittier

Or more interesting

Than this woman who’s ability

To look bored and pout

Has held you spellbound.
I am walking away now

Just call me when you wake up..

Or don’t. 

Because by the time you realize

That this talking mannequin 

Has moved on to other interests, 

I would have moved on as well. 

From the Desk of a Lovesick Fifth Grader

My love, 

My hand quivers as I write this

Because our teacher is attentive

And wishes no distraction. 
But how can I not be distracted

When you squint at the board

And I want to read aloud what 

You cannot see? 
When you soft hair strays 

To your face 

And all I want to do 

Is tuck the strands behind your ear? 
When I am waiting 

For the bell to toll 

So that I could walk behind you

To the canteen
And as I ruminate on how

To end this letter, 

I am equally anxious 

Of what you will say. 
How trivial that my fate

Rests on this airplane-shaped note

And as it soars to you

My heart soars with it. 

Sensible

I’ve done the math…You know, where I add every moment your dimple made an appearance to a joke I just said, 

And I subtract all the gray moods we’ve ever had together

And I multiply how many times my body quakes with each kiss you give me

And I divide all the pizza slices we’ve shared. 

I’ve played out all the probabilities in every crossroad I could’ve taken

And the only one that makes sense is the road that has you in the end. 

Wayward Heart

My wayward heart

It played the part

Of fancy free

With ease and skill.

It danced along

Each piper’s song

But all too soon, 

It skipped, until
It met your heart

And thought it smart 

To prance along

And ride the thrill
But then it found

There was no ground

No place to go

No plain, no hill
In every space

It saw your face

How to forget

It could not will
Wayward no more

My heart is for

Your love alone

Now it is still. 

@2017 Anj CP

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