This is a tale
of a half that wasn’t
missing
and a whole that wasn’t
searching.
Happy it was, humming
the song that was in its head.
It lived its life not
in wanting;
And its days not spent
in waiting.
But once the half
came along,
the whole found
its old song
with new combinations,
exciting variations
of which it never sounded so.
Every note was the same,
but it leapt with a vigor
From where it didn’t know.
Apart they were good,
But together they were better.
A choice was then made
to be together forever.
To be frank, it took a while
for me to be the Bigger person,
to acknowledge that the
part I played in our destruction
may have been small,
but that maybe it ate at you,
chip by chip.
And for a time, I just got so
tired of picking up the pieces
of our brokenness and
sweeping them under the
rug of my shame—
my shame of never having
to keep things whole, to
see every love story
play out to its worst ending.
But once I allowed myself to be happy
that you had found the person
who steadied your intrepid heart,
I realized that I could rest easier at night,
knowing one less broken-hearted soul
and hoping that when I finally get it right,
it will have all been worth it.
I want to seem to have things figured out
so that it’s easy for you to run to me
without hesitation.
And before you even see my tears,
they’ve all dried out
so that I can offer you a sunny day
with conviction.
Even though I’m not as put together
as I’m perceived to be,
you’ll never have to face
that side of me.
Someday, when you’re okay
I’ll tell you my story.
Not because I want your pity,
but because everyone goes through
something.
We have our own cross to carry.
I’ve swam deeper waters than this,
I’ve always found the shore.
I’ve tunneled out of darker holes,
healed from deeper cuts before;
climbed myself out of steeper cliffs,
skin to bone, my muscles sore.
Now my heart’s been badly broken,
thrown to fester in a moor,
I draw the strength of all my past
to find an open door.
I’ve worn and weathered many hurts
I’ll live through many more.
You have been running after me,
and I’ve been running after you.
It’s always been this crazy chase
a race made for two.
I’ve been growing tired
But to stop, I’m afraid to do.
What if you are running away
And I’m just chasing after you?
We are standing on the precipice
of something truly spectacular.
The compelling anticipation is
almost too much to bear.
And eyes have seen and lips have spoken
a future both bright and quite fragile
So I must wait with steadfast faith,
with deliberate care.
I picture your face as I draw breaths,
willing patience as you to come to the
inevitable conclusion of which
I am fully aware.
We are a union made to exceed
the vastness of all universes.
Take my hands, hold my heart, dear
Let me take you there.