I used to fill my days to the brim
Never giving a moment’s pause,
Ignoring your gentle tugging;
Your antics, always trying to
steer my attention; stealing what
Limited time I have to climb that
golden ladder with no end in sight.
Don’t you understand how precious
my time is and how
the softness of your lips;
Your warm breath on my ear;
Even your delicious sweat
Are all unwelcome distractions?
But now, how odd that what I thought
I didn’t have enough of, I have in such abundance;
Now I spend days hugging unwashed sheets;
Inhaling the scent from the clothes you left behind;
Remembering the words you breathed in my ear.
What will I do now with all this time?
Do not dwell on your despair, my heart
Let not the scars
of battles lost
impede you from beating.
Let not the nightmares
that haunt your sleep
stop you from dreaming.
Let not the cuts
of promises broken
obstruct you from hoping.
One day, my heart,
you will find the one
worthy of your collection of
scars and dreams and cuts.
And while this seems farthest from what’s true
One day, you will feel like new.
You know that feeling—
When you witness the soft light of the sun’s first rays,
Or the glorious pearl luminescence of the full moon
And it’s baiting you to take
That perfect Instagrammable shot
But you don’t take it…
You’re not even tempted.
Because there’s someone beside you
Who takes your full attention
And he’s the only one you want to
Share that moment with…
I thought it was very clear to us
Where we stood.
That we’d only be together
If it made sense.
If it were convenient for you,
And it was convenient for me,
We’d do lunch.
Or if you needed to talk
And I had some time to kill,
I’d listen to your stories.
But lately I’ve noticed,
I’d stay up later than I would have
To hear your voice on the phone.
Worse, I’d hop on a train without hesitation
To eat with you.
I don’t know if I’ve crossed the line
Or if that line is still there
Now that I wish handshakes became
We spend holidays and birthdays and weekends together
You pick me up from home, even during the worst weather
When we walk, you never get tired of holding my hand
Maybe by now its foolish to ask where I really stand
You finish my sentences and I finish your salad
I write you poetry and you sing me ballads
But still I’ve bitten my tongue to the point that it’s numb
Just to stop myself asking since it might sound a bit dumb.
I know your entire family tree, and you know mine
And I’m sure someday you’ll confess given enough time
I’m a smart girl, I just need the words I suppose
Do you mind speeding things along and finally propose?