At a certain angle, our love looks smooth and perfect.
But up close, it is lines crashing upon each other,
Edges jutting out,
Sharp and dangerous.
It is not the kind that will survive scrutiny.
If I had met you
in our youth,
Oh the places
we would have roamed together
And how many changes of colors
and tastes and sights
we would have shared.
But still,
I am thankful to have met you
in my twilight
Where blurred lights make the lines
on my face softer
And your hands steady mine.
I used to fill my days to the brim
Never giving a moment’s pause,
Ignoring your gentle tugging;
Your antics, always trying to
steer my attention; stealing what
Limited time I have to climb that
golden ladder with no end in sight.
Don’t you understand how precious
my time is and how
the softness of your lips;
Your warm breath on my ear;
Even your delicious sweat
Are all unwelcome distractions?
But now, how odd that what I thought
I didn’t have enough of, I have in such abundance;
Now I spend days hugging unwashed sheets;
Inhaling the scent from the clothes you left behind;
Remembering the words you breathed in my ear.
What will I do now with all this time?
You know that feeling—
When you witness the soft light of the sun’s first rays,
Or the glorious pearl luminescence of the full moon
And it’s baiting you to take
That perfect Instagrammable shot
But you don’t take it…
You’re not even tempted.
Because there’s someone beside you
Who takes your full attention
And he’s the only one you want to
Share that moment with…
That’s love.
You were always the romantic
You pack poems with my meal
You scribble endearing love notes
You never hide how you feel.
I wanted to reciprocate
I didn’t want to be outdone
And so I planned this grand gesture
To show I was the sweeter one.
I made a hundred paper cranes
Set to fly over your head
You’d come home to fragrant petals
All leading up to our bed
A love gram of three grown men
Dressed in matching candy-striped shirts
Followed by a choir of angels
In their halos and long, white skirts
All I wanted was to best you
In your every loving thought
I wanted to outspend you
In all the things you bought
I forgot along the way
That you never meant to compete
That our love for each other
Was what made us complete
Now I have the simplest sorry
To whisper softly in your ear
I don’t need to offer the world
Just you and me here.
I paid too high a fee
For the chance to be set free
A square and even trade
I smugly thought I made
Exchanged a single heart
For a bag of false starts
And now I’m left to grieve
For the one I can’t retrieve
I paid dearly for my choice
Wish I went beyond the noise
All my lives I would spend
If our love I could mend.
I see you in your tailored suit and your slicked back hair
Your eyes are shiny with unshed tears
As you hold the hand of a woman
As white as the gown she wears
And I want to tell that woman
That you will become wrapped in work
That you will drool buckets in your sleep
That you will hurt her sometimes because of your lack of empathy
That you will stay out with your friends far too long
That you will read novels in the toilet while she squirms
But I will also have to tell her
That you will plan elaborate surprises
That you will discover your artistic voice
That you will find your passion
That you will grow more handsome with time
That you will give her three bundles of unceasing joy
And so I allow her to keep holding your hand
And to say yes,
And I let things unfold as they should.
We are five rows and three seats apart
But there is an understanding between us
That results in our synchronized snorts of laughter
Every time our English teacher mispronounces a word
Like clockwork, your head turns to mine
When the class know-it-all gives a long, confusing answer to a simple question
Right on schedule, you drop by the clinic
To check up on my tummy ache after an extemporaneous speech
And while you still have no clue, I have already known for quite some time
That we are writing the greatest love story that has yet to be told.
