You are my unfinished story.
When I tried to get back to you,
I found out that I had lost the thread
Of my thoughts.
I had forgotten why I was pursuing this piece.
Now you are just a string of words
that for a time sounded interesting to me.
Why do you feel entitled to my love?
You, who never made an effort beyond what was convenient?
And now that I understand my worth,
I’m supposed to jump hoops for the scraps you throw at me?
Keep your love. And I’ll keep mine.
How has time melted between the spaces of my hands?
The same ones that used to hold on to yours?
Have I taken too much of time’s time?
Have I given you too much space?
I thought if I were still, you’d come running back…
But time doesn’t turn back
And neither did you..
Now both of you are lost to me.
I’m excusing myself from this table
Because it feels like I’m intruding
Into a private conversation.
While I made the introduction,
I have come to the realization
That this was a dinner meant
For a party of two.
It’s useless to interject
Because I can not be funnier
Or wittier
Or more interesting
Than this woman who’s ability
To look bored and pout
Has held you spellbound.
I am walking away now
Just call me when you wake up..
Or don’t.
Because by the time you realize
That this talking mannequin
Has moved on to other interests,
I would have moved on as well.
There are pressed petals
Between the pages of my diary
A box of movie stubs
A bundle of anniversary cards
Scrapbooks filled
With pictures of us
On our travels
With friends
Stars in our eyes
Entwined hands
Pressed bodies
Are you sure you’re ready
To close the book on us?
Is our love a thing of the past?
It’s okay, you don’t have to ask
How my day was
Or check if I’ve arrived home
After my night class
The dog’s fine, too.
He’s running after his ball again
And the car’s running smoothly
I’ve learned a few things since then.
I hope the baby’s doing well
I’m sure you’ve been a great dad
And the wife’s been taking care of you
You deserve all that you have.
Just wanted to say, it’s time for you to go your way
I was hurt, but now I see
That life’s been good to me.
You know how some people just naturally flow into each other?
How their conversations, however often or seldom, feel effortless?
While I’ve never assumed that ours would ever be that simple,
I thought it would grow into something more familiar.
But still, after all this time, your words of love for me sound contrived.
Your touch feels more and more foreign.
And I’ve realized that while I’m sorry to have dragged this on for so long,
I’m not sorry enough to stay.
Nobody could have predicted it
Not even a crystal ball
I thought you’d always kiss my feet
In for the long haul
I certainly kept you on your toes
Took delight in your misery
How you lasted this long
Is certainly a mystery
I waved a carrot across your face
Tied it to a very long stick
I thought I had better options
Assumed I could have my pick
My friends didn’t fail to warn me
Playing with fire is unwise
But you seemed to be determined
To win my heart as the prize
I was speecheless when I realized
My heart’s been cheering for you all along
While my mouth mocked and teased you,
It was silently singing your love song.
And just when I was ready to surrender
You threw the towel in defeat
I am left with my heart in my hand
Eating my own conceit.
No bullshit, no backtalk
Let’s just take a walk.
No jokes, no banter
Don’t give me a cold shoulder.
Just tell me straight to my face
Why there is this space
That no amount of hand holding,
No cuddling, no body rubbing
Could erase.
And I fear
The close is near
Without me even knowing
What caused this gaping
space
Where do I start to trace
What went wrong
Or for how long
We will pretend
Until it all just ends…
Let’s talk, please.
Make Room for Poetry 