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Make Room for Poetry

by Anj CP | Love Poems and Other Mushy Stuff

Tag

broken heart

Happy for You

To be frank, it took a while

for me to be the Bigger person,

to acknowledge that the

part I played in our destruction

may have been small,

but that maybe it ate at you,

chip by chip.

And for a time, I just got so

tired of picking up the pieces

of our brokenness and

sweeping them under the

rug of my shame—

my shame of never having

to keep things whole, to

see every love story

play out to its worst ending.

But once I allowed myself to be happy

that you had found the person

who steadied your intrepid heart,

I realized that I could rest easier at night,

knowing one less broken-hearted soul

and hoping that when I finally get it right,

it will have all been worth it.

Someday, I’ll Tell You My Story

I want to seem to have things figured out

so that it’s easy for you to run to me

without hesitation.

And before you even see my tears,

they’ve all dried out

so that I can offer you a sunny day

with conviction.

Even though I’m not as put together

as I’m perceived to be,

you’ll never have to face

that side of me.

Someday, when you’re okay

I’ll tell you my story.

Not because I want your pity,

but because everyone goes through

something.

We have our own cross to carry.

Love and Chaos

When you say,

“Let’s wipe the slate clean,”

does that mean

we throw everything away?

Because yes,

we made a mess.

But it was a fabulous riot

of proportions hard to forget.

So do we just let

all those go?

I say No.

No to keeping things all

neat and clean

and in boxes.

Every day, I uncover more of you.

As I go through your mess

and you go through mine,

I find more and more things

to love about us.

Yes to this ruckus.

A Serious Setback

New Heart

Before Anyone Else’s

This was our bench

in the middle of the park

where I’d lay on your lap,

reading a book

as you shielded my eyes

from the sun.

This was our tree

where you carved our initials.

You’d strum your guitar

and I’d hum along

as we shared sandwiches

and wishes.

This was our bed

with your sweat and saliva

on the pillow.

I’d bury my nose in it,

your scent made me

dizzy with delight.

This was our life

and it was just ours

before it was any one else’s.

Once upon a time,

I had your heart

before it was any one else’s.

If It Gives You Peace

Why do you feel the need to discredit me

To make our parting sound as though you had expected it from the start?

I came into this relationship with just as much fervor as you did.

Believe it or not, I had the highest hopes that ours would be the one to beat;

That ours would be the standard all our friends would be holding a candle to.

But now that I’ve finally accepted that it’s not working out for either of us,

I have to be the villain?

While I’ve realized it’s nothing that you did,

I also recognize that it’s nothing I did or didn’t do that caused the collapse.

It simply didn’t work out.

The fact that I struck the final blow that led to the demise of us didn’t make it any less painful for me,

Didn’t give me the satisfaction that you imagined I got.

But go ahead and assail my person if it’s your way of making sense of what had happened.

I’m just happy I didn’t waste more of our time.

Forgotten

You’ve forgotten

And they’ve forgotten

And the world has moved on

And for your eyes, I moved on with it.

I laughed as if my shattered heart

Was finally mended.

I nodded along to all your stories

So that you wouldn’t feel obliged to be concerned

Or to talk about me in hushed tones.

But the truth is (and this I will never admit)

That I loved with all my heart and lost

And that is something that I will never forget.

A Messy Aftermath 

This is thing…I saw this coming

A mile away.

And yet, I chose to stay

It was all for wrong reasons

Masked as good intentions

Because I couldn’t make

The decision to break

Things off.

Maybe it was for my mom’s sake

And the dog’s too

And my friends’ dreams

Of what might have seemed

Like #goals. 

Now that it’s over, 

How hard to sweep under

All the hearts that we broke.

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