It would’ve helped if I knew from the get-go
that I wasn’t the one you saw yourself with down the line.
You were the only plan I have…I had.
I’ve swam deeper waters than this,
I’ve always found the shore.
I’ve tunneled out of darker holes,
healed from deeper cuts before;
climbed myself out of steeper cliffs,
skin to bone, my muscles sore.
Now my heart’s been badly broken,
thrown to fester in a moor,
I draw the strength of all my past
to find an open door.
I’ve worn and weathered many hurts
I’ll live through many more.
Do not dwell on your despair, my heart
Let not the scars
of battles lost
impede you from beating.
Let not the nightmares
that haunt your sleep
stop you from dreaming.
Let not the cuts
of promises broken
obstruct you from hoping.
One day, my heart,
you will find the one
worthy of your collection of
scars and dreams and cuts.
And while this seems farthest from what’s true
One day, you will feel like new.
I will love you again and again
For as long as I can.
I will fold space for you so that
I can love you in all dimensions.
I will love you in tessellations
With no gaps and no overlaps.
I will love you in all configurations
In all colorations.
So that wherever you are
And wherever I am,
You will never feel in want
Or in doubt
Of the constancy of my love.
Let your face be the first thing I see
In mornings, bright and sunny,
Let it remind me of easy days
Beneath thunderstorms and dreary skies
Let me stare into your eyes
And find in them a steady bay
Where I can stay.
Amidst the grueling work week rush
As I toil and grind and mush
I will trust that I find my way
To your arms each day.
And as the sun surrenders to the moon
And darkness begins to loom
Let your kisses sweep me far away
In your arms, I end this day.
You know that feeling—
When you witness the soft light of the sun’s first rays,
Or the glorious pearl luminescence of the full moon
And it’s baiting you to take
That perfect Instagrammable shot
But you don’t take it…
You’re not even tempted.
Because there’s someone beside you
Who takes your full attention
And he’s the only one you want to
Share that moment with…
Why do you feel the need to discredit me
To make our parting sound as though you had expected it from the start?
I came into this relationship with just as much fervor as you did.
Believe it or not, I had the highest hopes that ours would be the one to beat;
That ours would be the standard all our friends would be holding a candle to.
But now that I’ve finally accepted that it’s not working out for either of us,
I have to be the villain?
While I’ve realized it’s nothing that you did,
I also recognize that it’s nothing I did or didn’t do that caused the collapse.
It simply didn’t work out.
The fact that I struck the final blow that led to the demise of us didn’t make it any less painful for me,
Didn’t give me the satisfaction that you imagined I got.
But go ahead and assail my person if it’s your way of making sense of what had happened.
I’m just happy I didn’t waste more of our time.
And they’ve forgotten
And the world has moved on
And for your eyes, I moved on with it.
I laughed as if my shattered heart
Was finally mended.
I nodded along to all your stories
So that you wouldn’t feel obliged to be concerned
Or to talk about me in hushed tones.
But the truth is (and this I will never admit)
That I loved with all my heart and lost
And that is something that I will never forget.