Think of all the ways he’ll break your heart

How every guy can tear you apart

Look back at each failure of your past

Recall how none of them ever last.

Sulk when you see a prettier girl

Perm your straight hair or iron your curl

Sigh over how thin or fat you are

Blubber over every little scar

Never commit to one decision

When in doubt, choose procrastination

Make all simple things complicated

Say, “Romance is just over-rated.”

I guarantee you’ll never be spurn

You’ll never have to heal a burn

You won’t spend tears, you’ll keep your eyes dry

You can continue to hold your head high

But if all chances at love you skip

For fear of each little bump and trip,

Expect to forgo not only pain but bliss

For a heart without love is a heart amiss.